Self Defense Primers, Knife

Here's a quick self-defense course on what actually works when someone draws a knife on you:


Step 1: Observe location of person with knife and how they are holding it.
Step 2: Run away.
Step 3: If you must engage, use a ranged weapon.


Now for some questions and answers:

Q: I was taught a knife disarm, won't I be fine?
A: Not likely. Those things are for last resort usage. "Last Resort" means "expect to die trying this, but hell why not?"


Q: My martial arts instructor says this is foolproof, are you saying he is wrong?
A: You'll find that people holding knives generally aren't fools.


Q: My instructor says he's used it for years.
A: I'm sure he has used it for years in demonstrations. Anyone who's actually faced a knife wielding opponent will laugh at these demonstrations


Q: What if I can't run away?
A: You can. One of the hardest things to do is to stop someone from escaping you when all you have is a melee weapon like, say, a knife
.

Q: Will running away from a knife wielding opponent make my penis shrink?
A: No, contrary to the knowledge disseminated on "Self Defense" forums, your penis will not shrink because you weren't a fucking idiot.


Q: I've tried to engage someone with a knife in unarmed combat. See? I got his knife. Why is my vision darkening around the edges?
A: I'm not a doctor so I can only speculate it's either you bleeding out from all the cuts you got wrestling with someone who has a sharp object, or it's from the concussion you got when you took his knife from him and he grabbed a nearby blunt object and smashed you over the head with it while you were congratulating yourself on your mad ninja skillz.


Q: What if I have a nightstick?
A: A nightstick is not a ranged weapon.



Q: What if I have a personal tazer?
A: A tazer is not a ranged weapon.



Q: what if I have a baseball bat?
A: A baseball bat is not a ranged weapon.



Q: What if I engage him anyway?
A: Congratulations. You have just bashed someone in the shoulder or upper arm with a baseball bat, and they have stabbed you in the stomach, probably two or three times because in the real world knife attacks are prison rushes, not arm out stabs. Was it worth the trade?


Q: What if I also have a knife, aren't they the ultimate close range weapon?
A: Then odds are both of you are going to die tonight. Hope you didn't have any family who loved you.